In honor of our final episodes of the Least Dangerous Podcast and Scheizen For Brains where we go through the entire "Trapped in the Closet" series, today we are counting down the Top Five Most Ridiculous R. Kelly Songs!

#5) Thoia Thoing

Most Ridiculous Lyrics:

"Now what the hell does thoia thoing mean?
it can mean anything you want it to mean
anything you say it mean, thats what it means"

#4) Rock Star

Most Ridiculous Lyrics:

“I'm telling you now the way we fuck
Gonna lead to child birthin'
Rocking to this guitar
Is bout to have me crowd surfing….

…. Call me scottie 'cause girl, 'cause girl
I'm a about to beam up
Once I get, get you
Gone, come on up out of those D cups…

… Know what you want Kell's about to give you what you need
Up in my room you're screaming Hercules Hercules”

#3) Real Talk

Most Ridiculous Lyrics:

"The next time your ass get horny
Go fuck one of your funky ass friends
Hell yeah, you probably already doin' that shit anyway
You gonna burn what?
Bitch, I wish you would burn my motherfuckin' clothes"

#2) Sex Weed

Most Ridiculous Lyrics:

“Girl, you got that sex weed
I just want to hit it all the time
Sex so good that it gets me high
Bring that home grown to me
Girl you got that fire weed
Light it up, let me take a puff
Of your sex weed”

#1) Marry the P***y

Most Ridiculous Lyrics:

“I just wanna marry the p***y (put a ring on it)
Wanna go down on my knees, ask that p***y to marry me
P***y a sight for sore eyes, my best friend, my better half
Been good to me, its love to me, can't explain what it do to me
P***y talk to me, p***y sing to me
So much joy it bring to me
When I call the p***y, it come right away
And I call the p***y like everyday
I love p***y and p***y love me
I can tell the way it strip for me
If I'm ever in the mood for two p***ies
Then the p***y will bring another p***y to me”